I went to my cousins baby shower today. She was glowing. Pregnancy suits her. The house was organized and maintained to a T. Each room was filled with my relatives and family friends alike. The smell of roast beef and vegetable sewers filled the air and all was as it should be. This afternoon, for a few short hours I found myself in the midst of the “American Dream”.

Now I know that I have been living in a bubble of artistry and self fulfillment for a few years… and as ridiculous as this may sound, in my world I lightly assumed that we had grown passed the ideals of a secular family unit and traded it in for self empowerment. I have turned a blind eye to the idea of settling down anytime soon. Not only have I struggled to find security with any relationship I have entered.. but more than that I am not sure I am fulfilled on my own quite yet. I have more to say, write, share, sing… perform. Or so I tell myself.

True that everyone’s paths are different and it is unfair for me to compare. However, today with a veggie skewer and diet Pepsi in hand… I found the most appetizing thing in the room to be COMMITMENT and new life. It is intoxicating. It is joyful. It is illuminated with high hopes and fairy tale’s… dancing into my heart though the sweet smell of baby powder.

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Contribute what you can, in any way you can…. be the change.
Please visit www.redcross.org to see how.

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So I was in the studio tonight when the very talented Davy Nathan passed along this wordpress to me… I am further compelled to share.

The Lefsetz Letter
wordpress

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The new year is upon us…. have you set out and given thought to what your intentions are for the new year?

I have really been putting some serious effort into what exactly it is that I want. Down to the finest detail. It’s so funny how much you can sift through when you don’t allow room for vagueness… What do you want? I mean really want….. Success? Ok, doing what? How will you attain it? To what degree is it satisfying? What will you do with it? How long do you want it to last? Stay with me now, here is the kicker…. Why? Why do you want it, need it, feen for it… hold it on such a pedestal? AT the end of the day.. when it’s just you and you.. will it define you TO you?

I have begun to write little lists over the past week of what I wish for in the new year… and given each request consideration with the previously mentioned attention to detail.
What I have begun to realize is that most of my requests are stemmed in ego. What my soul is requesting is very simple… and this is what I have settled on for 2010:

I want true love.
I want happiness.
I want to live my life with honesty.
I want to support myself on my art.

That’s it. Short. Sweet. Absolutely attainable.

Looking forward to you 2010. I have butterfly’s in my tummy, like a first date… anxious with anticipation for what I have already begun to manifest.

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First and foremost I would like to wish everyone a happy healthy holiday season. May you spend this day with people you value most creating quality memories.

I would also like to take a moment to touch on matters that we often seem to ignore during this season. No doubt that for many, the holidays can surface some very deep rooted emotions. Stemming from family, friends, and especially the loss of loved ones. Filling a household with tons of people and expecting all to get along is a feet even Santa can’t overcome at times! Know you are not alone in your anxiety : )

For those of you who are missing someone special to your hearts, also know that you are in the companionship of millions around the world. Separation is painful to say the least, in all forms. Take a moment to send them love through meditation, prayer, and warm wishes. I truly believe it will reach them, even if you are not quite sure where they are. Also try your best not to push those who are close to you in this moment away. Let them in and be grateful for their love as best you can.

I suppose my main statement for today is to acknowledge that very few things in life are ideal. It is not fair to your friends or family or yourself for that matter to expect them to be. I believe life is all based on a series of choices. How you choose to perceive, how you choose to react, and how you choose to give. Today I am choosing love. The love for my Mom, my family, my friends and myself.

Happy Holidays to all of you…my friends.

Amber Ojeda

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I am happy to say this is the first time in my life (that I can remember anyway), that I will be having AND hosting Thanksgiving dinner with both of my parents present. Despite their separation, my parents are very loving and compassionate toward one another. I am unable to count on one single finger the number of negative things my Mom has ever said about my Dad. She was loving towards him for the greater good, ME. I did not really know my dad growing up, but I can speak of the last few years in which I have begun to really know him and this is apparent to me… Love is a powerful allegiance. It transcends time, circumstance, bad decisions… and separation. I am not saying by any means that they will ever be together again, what I am referencing is how awe struck I am by both sides abilities to acknowledge the positive.

This observation leads me towards evaluating ways in which I could acknowledge the greater good in my own life. If you know me on a personal level at all, calling me a worrier is an understatement. I like to plan. I like to have an opening statement and an exit strategy. I over analyze everything. Too often I exclude myself from things and people I love based on conditions I give MYSELF!!! Crazy, I know. I don’t know exactly when the shift took place that being my own bully was acceptable, but it most certainly is not. On top of that, it’s hard for me (and others I presume) to stay present. There are so many distractions! Cell phones, ipods, TV, never mind our own brains : ) I often find myself in one place doing something, all the while totally fixated on whats next. Even worse, spending time with someone and constantly checking my phone. I feel that our immediate connection to everything digital is simultaneously straining our connection to all things human. Most importantly the connection to ourselves.

So let me turn this around. All this bottled up excitement I am miss-labeling as anxiety. As I sit here at my desk illuminated in the glow of my iMac, I am connected and grateful. I am grateful for my amazing roommate, my family, my kick ass home… my talents, my job, my friends and my innocent little crushes. I am overjoyed by the people who have entered my life in the past year. SO many beautiful souls, so many lessons learned, so many connections I never dreamed possible. I love my city.

I truly believe nothing is by chance. You reading this right now are a part of my journey. As I am yours. If I don’t know you yet… I hope to soon. I hope to have a moment of truth, cell phones aside. I hope we say we will meet for coffee and get this…. ready for it… MEAN it!!! We are only as impeccable as our word. I promise when we speak to do my best and stay present, I hope you do the same….

I love you. I love you. I love you. …and I love turkey = )

Gobble Gobble everyone!

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Sooo simple.

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